Wound

I wasn't this depressed before
I used to be happy
I was always so fucking happy
probably a little bit too fucking annoyingly happy
and I would smile all the time like an idiot
by just thinking of you
and I would feel safe and loved
by looking into your eyes
and I would feel beautiful
just by notising the way you always looked at me
and I always knew
that everything was going to be alright.

But all of that burst
with the blink of an eye
tumbled down upon me
like bricks and stones
and I got so awfully bruised
all of it happened
all at once
my family got hurt
I got hurt and lost my home
but the very worst thing
was that just as all of this was happening
I lost you
the greatest thing
I've ever had.




So now
I'm depressed
no, depressed can't even describe this pain
I'm... A big open wound
with tears and blood running out of it
and I just don't know how
to minimize the pain
or at least how to ignore it
just for a little while
because every time I smile
even for just a second
I instantly think of how you're not here
and..





..How you'll never love me.